Blog Transfer: “Kissing death and losing my breath…”

A Geek Saga SDCC 2016

Taking back San Diego Comic-Con v2.0

It’s going to be very rare that I transfer something to this blog from my previous one, but in light of the two-year anniversary of when I finally checked myself into the hospital to get the help I needed, I wanted to make the following post as visible as possible.

You see, it’s been two years. I have been diagnosed with PTSD and what is loosely known as “inherent anxiety”. I won’t get into the specifics of my diagnoses, but let’s just say that while the hospital didn’t help much back in 2014, some of the patients I met there did. I’ll also admit that after that questionable hospital experience, I was more open with my therapist and psychiatrist than I’d ever been before, which led to a faster diagnosis and the beginnings of a path to treatment.

I still struggle. I still have days when I just want to lay in bed and cry. I still go out and end up having to rush home because my anxiety about being in public and around strangers overwhelms me. But I’ve gotten the help I needed. I’ve found some medications that work for me. I’ve cut toxic people out of my life. And I’m going out of my way to read as much as possible, to watch all of the amazing TV shows that have been suggested to me, to write, and to just generally focus on the things I love, like planning conventions or even just wandering around hitting Pokestops, catching Pokemon, and hatching Poke…eggs.

My life isn’t perfect, but it is better. Still, I can’t ignore when I hit my lowest point. I don’t think any of us should. Therefore, here is my original blog entry from August 12th, 2014. Word for word.

So much has happened in the past couple of months, but it’s only now, hearing that a beloved celebrity took his own life, that I am finally going to admit the truth.

Just over a year ago I posted an entry about my struggles with depression, though looking back now I wonder how I did so in an almost lighthearted way. I suppose because at the time, I assumed that what I was feeling would be fleeting.

Only it’s been a year and three months since I wrote that entry, and instead, it’s gotten steadily worse.

I wish that I could pinpoint some actual beginning to what’s been going on with me, but the fact is that I’ve struggled with depression time and time again for as long as I can remember. Sure, it manifested itself differently when I was in middle school versus when I was in high school, and again it wasn’t the same in college as it was before that. And this more recent bout – which has been the longest one I’ve experienced by far – is different still.

In fact, I went back to try and find a picture of myself from a time when I remember I was truly happy – consistently, too, not just because I was on vacation or something – and I had to go all the way back to January 2012.

And I still had to choose a picture from when I was on vacation.

I’m not going to say that I’ve never had a happy moment since then – I’ve had plenty of them. It’s just that the prevailing emotions have been that specific cocktail of anxiety, fear, anger, and sadness that make up my personal version of depression – which I suppose has always been there, like in those Abilify commercials…but until recently, I was able to cope with it. Usually. For the most part.

A lot has happened in the past two years. Some of it involves others – things that happened, things they did – whose personal information I won’t divulge, but most of it involves me, of course. There have been things I can’t control, like my health; things I possibly could have controlled, like the illness and death of my beloved cat Lilo, gone too soon from this world; and things that I did control, like some terrible decisions that I made. The latter are mostly due to the way I was feeling, but I refuse to use that as an ‘excuse’. I made my bed, now I have to lie in it, and all that.

In the beginning it was a combination of having my hours cut at work (thus resulting in a fairly significant difference in my salary), along with the fact that about that time I started singing with a band and having an amazing time (TOO amazing, really), only to have that swept out from under me mere months after it began. I think the problem is that I never really FACED the way I felt about those things, not really, and so as time went on all the negativity just festered, even long after I was working 40 hours a week again and realized that the band had been more trouble than it was worth.

And then suddenly it was one thing after another – the ceiling falling in at my house in the spring of 2013, and the subsequent repairs and renovations that followed – and took far longer than they were supposed to (to be completely honest, they’re still not totally finished). Spending a huge portion of last fall traveling for what were essentially volunteer jobs – covering conventions, mostly, which I loved…but which cost a lot of money and kept me away from home and my pets. Sure, it was all very fun, even glamorous at times, but it wasn’t a sustainable lifestyle – as I learned to my detriment.

My health was the next thing to take a turn. I found a lump in my neck, and now, not quite nine months later, there are three in my neck and two in my pelvic area. All lymph nodes. At the moment they appear ‘safe’, but it was only after about 5 months of testing and ultrasounds and check-ups that the doctor would tell me as much – and I just have to hope that they don’t get bigger.

We found a lost cat on the verge of death in April. She only lived for another week, though we worked hard to save her.

Two weeks after that, Lilo passed away – suddenly, and almost violently.

And all that time, I was just keeping myself busy. Distracting myself with work and writing and conventions. Never really sleeping or eating properly. No real vacations, and days where I spent at least fifteen of my eighteen-ish waking hours on a computer.

Looking back now, I’m surprised I didn’t have a breakdown months ago.

It became second nature to hide the way I felt; if anything I was overcompensating for my depression.

It took the betrayal of a friend – the likes of which I hadn’t experienced in a good five years – to force me to rock bottom. But that was just the catalyst for the illness that has always been there to mix just right with everything that’s gone wrong in the past two years and then, for lack of a better word, ‘explode’. (Or maybe in this case I should be saying ‘implode’…)

Before I crashed, though, I’d been socially isolating myself – not just from a few people, but from everyone, including my closest friends and family. I lost nearly 30 pounds in about seven months, which may not sound like a lot, but is when you’re built like I am. I was tired all of the time, stressed all of the time, and irritated for most of it, as well. I stopped enjoying any and everything I’d once loved.

Speaking of love, the outpouring of support that I received when I told a handful of close friends that I was going to the hospital to get assessed for a mental health program was amazing. It hurts me that for so long, I avoided these people who care about me. Simple things like someone changing their profile picture to one of me and them the day they knew I was going to the hospital are what I remind myself of when I inevitably have those moments, hours, days, when all I want to do is lay in bed and cry.

I found some solace in understanding family and friends. In running with my dogs. In riding my bike downtown to read and write and ruminate in our beautiful park. In driving up to the mountains and losing myself in a long hike in the summer heat.

One night, when I was at my worst, I made myself get up off the floor – literally, I was laying on the floor – and write the names of those I love – and who I know love me back – on my little chalkboard. I wrote names until the wave broke, and then I laid down and slept better than I had in weeks. Months, even.

I’m getting help now, but I can’t pretend that any of this is easy; I can’t pretend that I don’t read these articles about Robin Williams and am at turns saddened and repulsed by them (depending on the ‘spin’ the writers put on them).

I’m getting help now, but there are still days when only the biggest things (like some children dropping a stray dog off at my house) can pull me out of bed.

I’m getting help now, but there are still times when it seems like a chore to remind myself to breathe, when simply leaving the house brings on a panic attack.

The one thing I wish is that it hadn’t taken me this long to face my illness. I was lucky to have the right person to talk to at the right time, but if I hadn’t, I would have made my way over to the hospital and checked myself in. I’ve seen and experienced firsthand what suicide does to a loved one’s family and friends; the fact that I was still thinking those thoughts scared me into action.

Please, please, if you reach your low point – whatever that is – or maybe even when you realize you’re careening towards it…call someone. Friend, family, hotline. Or go to the nearest hospital. I would never claim to know exactly how anyone else feels, but allow yourself to at least hope, if not know, that the depression is feeding you lies, and that help is available in one form or another.

If you aren’t struggling, please just be patient with those who are. Don’t forget the old adage that says something along the lines of, ‘be kind to everyone you meet, because you never know what they’re battling’.

SDCC 2016 Highlights

This year I attended my third San Diego Comic-Con, and it was by far the best yet. I experienced a few great moments at SDCC 2014, and last year was definitely a lot of fun – but 2016 bested both of those years.

Due to work schedules and money, I had to arrive late Thursday night and depart Sunday night, but despite not being there for Preview night or anything on Thursday, and despite missing the Friends of Comic-Con dinner Sunday night, I can’t imagine having had a better time. And that also includes the fact that I, err, shut off my alarm on Saturday morning and missed the couple of things I wanted to attend earlier that day. The thing is, all of the things that I *did* get to do more than made up for that 😉

A Geek Saga SDCC 2016

I was lucky enough to room with my good friend Ashley, and our mutual friend Amin helped us with the rooming situation by setting us up in USA Hostels on 5th Ave in the Gaslamp. It was about half a mile from the convention center, surrounded by restaurants and bars (and Pokestops!), and actually within my budget. I’d never stayed in a hostel before, but honestly, the bathrooms were extremely clean and my only complaint is that we got one of the rooms that didn’t have an air conditioner or a proper window. But the people were friendly, there was free breakfast, and again…it was in my budget. I’m sure having a great roommate helped, as well.

Friday we got up early and headed down to pick up my badge and get in line for the Steven Universe singalong/panel combo. It was an hour and a half long and worth the hour and a half that we spent in line – especially considering that Kevin Smith and Greg Runberg delivered donuts! That said, my boss and close friend Angel from The Geekiary got there much earlier than we did and I still owe her a coffee for that.

SDCC 2016 Greg Runberg donuts

The singalong and panel were of course amazing. I laughed, I cried, I enjoyed every second that I was there. I just wish that so many people hadn’t asked questions that couldn’t be answered…but then, I guess that’s kind of a staple of Comic-Con. (At least in my experience.)

SDCC 2016 Steven Universe

Ashley and I also checked out the Nerdist and Geek & Sundry Camp Conival for a bit, where I got to interview Zachary Tyler Linville, author of Welcome to Deadland. It was awesome meeting him and great to talk to a fellow former Orlando resident!

SDCC 2016 Zac Linville Welcome to Deadland

Later that day I met up with Diamond Select Toys Marketing Supervisor Zach Oat to check out some of DST’s Comic-Con exclusives and new reveals…so many awesome toys! I even came home with their SDCC 2016 exclusive Spider-Gwen PVC statue

Spider-Gwen Diamond Select Toys

Now, while I had an awesome time all three-ish days that I was there, I have to say that Friday was probably my favorite overall. Not only because of what I’ve already mentioned, but because later that evening Ashley and I met up with my fellow Geekiary staff member Erin and went out to a couple of different bars. We met new people, saw some celebrities, and other than one problematic situation, had an amazing time.

But before I get into the good parts of that night, let me remind any man who is reading this that buying a woman a drink and offering her food – when she hasn’t asked for either and even tries to decline both – does not entitle you to anything. A woman starting a conversation with you doesn’t entitle you to anything, either. I have to praise the men who apologized to me when they saw their friend freak out on me for choosing to go somewhere with my ladies rather than going anywhere with him, though here’s another reminder – being drunk isn’t an excuse to treat a woman that way.

SDCC 2016 Nobu

Okay, that said, we did get to meet Aly Michalka (Peyton from iZombie), and when we ended up at the Hilton we had drinks and wonderful conversation with a gentleman who essentially works on the set of American Gods. Sadly, all this out-and-aboutness and the fact that none of it included food after about 2 PM caused me to ignore my alarm on Saturday and sleep until 12:30…and then I couldn’t do anything other than shower (no air conditioning means at least one shower a day) and finally get some food. My bad, my bad.

SDCC 2016 Aly Michalka

But once I had some food in me and was walking around in the [much cooler] outside air, I eventually felt better, and it helped that we also had an amazing time with our panel, the “A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones Fan Discussion” featuring three Podcast of Ice and Fire hosts and yours truly 🙂 You can check out the full audio from our panel – along with an intro about mine, Ashley’s, Amin’s, and Kyle’s SDCC 2016 experiences, on the Podcast of Ice and Fire website.

SDCC Ice and Fire Con

After the panel a big group of us – panelists, attendees, and local friends – went to Basic for pizza and drinks. It was a good time and we hung out for quite a while before finally going our own ways (for the most part). This included Ashley and I going back to our room to freshen up for the last big night of Comic-Con, including a trip to The Pool Club at the Hilton for drinks with Admin Angel and Erin from the Geekiary, as well as a few other friends (both ‘old’ and new). I even got to meet Bear McCreary. I’m a huge fan of his music on The Walking Dead and Battlestar Galactica, but he’s also known for the music on shows like Outlander, Black Sails, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and more.

SDCC 2016 Bear Mcreary

Soon enough we had an invite to a Geek and Sundry pop-up party, so Angel, Ashley, and I headed to Fluxx for that, and it was a BLAST. I even ended up dancing with Matt Mercer from Geek and Sundry’s Critical Role, though I had no idea that’s who he was until someone told me. (I’m really bad at recognizing celebrities, okay?) Seriously though, I just thought I was dancing with a fun dude, and that’s exactly what I was doing. I’d love to actually sit down and talk to him sometime!

SDCC 2016 Geek and Sundry Critical Role Matt Mercer

Yes, it’s a bit blurry, we were dancing in a club! 🙂

I’ll be honest, it was a late and messy night and it was worth every minute, even if having to roll out of bed and get out of our room before 10 AM the next day was a bit rough 😉 I blame Angel and Ashley. Not myself at all, no no no… (Yes, I’m kidding.)

SDCC 2016 Geek and Sundry Fluxx

Thankfully I still got to do a few fun things and attend some great panels on Sunday before heading to the airport for a rough red-eye flight home. My absolute favorite moment that day was meeting author Pierce Brown, who wrote the Red Rising trilogy (which I’m completely obsessed with at the moment – SEVROOOO! RAGNARRRR!). I got my copy of Morning Star signed, and was even able to get a copy of Red Rising signed for my bf Bekah. Oh, plus he complimented my hair (hopefully it was an actual compliment, anyway) and took a picture with me 🙂

SDCC 2016 Pierce Brown Red Rising

I also attended Nerd HQ’s Sherlock panel and it was amazing. I’ve attended one Nerd HQ panel each year (The Walking Dead in 2014 and Bad-Ass Women last year) and the Sherlock one this year did not disappoint. After that Ashley and I also went to the Bisexuality and Beyond panel run by BiNetUSA.org, which was wonderful.

SDCC 2016 Nerd HQ Sherlock

And that was basically the end of my SDCC weekend, though we did a bit of wandering around after that last panel and I got a few more awesome pictures. So I’ll leave you with those, and – for the first time – with hope that I will absolutely be able to attend SDCC next year!

 

SDCC 2016 American Gods

SDCC 2016 Ghostbusters

 

These *Weeks* on The Geekiary

The Geekiary

I had a couple of slow weeks writing for The Geekiary, due to my travel schedule and just generally getting ready to attend San Diego Comic-Con. But now it’s been over a month, which means it’s past time for me to update my article round-up!

July 4th, 2016
X-Files Reboot Vinimates Are Great Collectibles!
It’s no secret that we at The Geekiary love Diamond Select Toys. I was lucky enough to interview their Marketing Supervisor Zach at C2E2 earlier this year, and I can’t imagine not being a huge fan of their awesome collectibles – so when they added the X-Files reboot Vinimates to their product line, I was excited to add these figures to my display shelves!

The Geekiary PositiviTEA TuesdayJuly 5th, 2016
PositiviTEA Tuesday with The Geekiary (7/5/16)

Those of us who write for The Geekiary are a pretty close-knit community. We don’t just discuss the website with each other; we share life events and fangirl together. Depending on who’s fangirling at the moment, it could be about anything from Bryan Fuller to One Direction to Hogwarts Houses and more. Yes, sometimes we need to face things that are serious and probably not fun or positive, and it was due to one of those more serious conversations that we came up with the idea of “PositiviTEA Tuesday”.

July 12th, 2016
PositiviTEA Tuesday with The Geekiary (7/12/16)

Welcome to the second week of our new series, PositiviTEA Tuesday with The Geekiary! For today’s round of fun posts we bring you X-Files, Iron Man news, and more…including Pokemon GO, of course…

The Geekiary Pokemon GOJuly 13th, 2016
Pokemon GO Isn’t Just Fun – It’s Healthy

It’s no secret that the new Pokemon GO app has taken the world by storm, but this writer is coming to you as someone who never before paid any attention to Pokemon and has had her life improved by playing Pokemon GO.

July 18th, 2016
First Picture of Bilquis from American Gods

San Diego Comic-Con is fast approaching, but apparently Starz isn’t waiting until the end of this week to give fans more American Gods updates. Today they released the first picture of Bilquis, and not surprisingly, it looks amazing!
FEELINGS…with The Geekiary: Ghost Girls
The new Ghostbusters movie came out this past weekend, and considering all of the drama surrounding it – combined with the fact that so many of us at The Geekiary saw and enjoyed it – we put together an impromptu episode of FEELINGS…with The Geekiary: The Ghost Girls Edition.

July 19th, 2016
Dragon Con 2016 Guest Announcement: Gillian Anderson!

As a huge fan of basically everything about Gillian Anderson (and, of course, a huge fan of The X-Files and Dana Scully in particular) I for one am very excited to announce that she has been added to the guest list for Dragon Con 2016!

The Geekiary Steven Universe Too Short to RideJuly 20th, 2016
Steven Universe 3×9 Review: Too Short to Ride
Don’t get me wrong, I loved the Steven Universe episodes that we’ve been treated to so far this week. (Especially “Mr. Greg“!) But when “Too Short to Ride” opened with Peridot, I was immediately excited, because after three episodes without her I was missing her quite a bit.

July 21st, 2016
Secrets of Comic-Con: The Things Most Attendees WILL Tell You
Earlier this week, Buzzfeed posted an article about the “15 Secrets People Who Love Comic Con Will Never Tell You”. Well, I’m here to debunk that, because it’s ridiculous. Will I or anyone else ever know all of the secrets of Comic-Con? I highly doubt it. But that doesn’t mean that most people won’t share them with you – because in every case I’ve encountered, they absolutely will.

The Geekiary Diamond Select Toys Spider-GwenJuly 26th, 2016
Comic-Con 2016: Diamond Select Toys Produces Even More Amazing Items

I had a great time interviewing Diamond Select Toys Marketing Supervisor Zach Oat at C2E2 this year, so I was excited to be able to get together with him at SDCC to chat about DST’s Comic-Con exclusives and some of their newly-announced items.
PositiviTEA Tuesday with The Geekiary: The Comic-Con 2016 Edition!
Several members of The Geekiary, including myself, attended SDCC this year, and while we had an amazing time, it wasn’t just our experiences that made Comic-Con 2016 great…so we feel it more than deserves it’s own PositiviTEA Tuesday post!

July 28th, 2016
The Geekiary Welcome to DeadlandWelcome to Deadland: A Refreshing Take on the Zombie Apocalypse Genre
Last month I was lucky enough to receive an Advanced Reader’s Copy of Zachary Tyler Linville’s debut novel, Welcome to Deadland. Now, while I’ve read all of the Walking Dead comics, I’ve only read a few zombie apocalypse novels, and this one is definitely near the top of that list in terms of being both interesting and featuring good storytelling overall.
Steven Universe 3×15 Review: Alone at Sea
When “Alone at Sea” began with Steven and Lapis, I was definitely excited. This week of Steven’s Summer Adventure has featured two very lighthearted Beach City episodes followed by the lovely but heavy “Monster Reunion“; based on the first few minutes of “Alone at Sea”, I really thought we were heading back in that lighthearted direction.

July 31st, 2016
Comic-Con 2016: Diamond Select Toys Spider-Gwen Exclusive

One of the Diamond Select Toys Comic-Con exclusives for this year was a gorgeous PVC statue of an unmasked Spider-Gwen, and I was lucky enough to get my hands on one, which is exciting on several levels.

…as you can see, despite the first couple weeks of July being slow for me in terms of writing articles, I definitely spent a lot of time doing so the last half of July! And to be honest, when I wasn’t writing articles I was working on my next novel or binge-watching shows like The Expanse, Sherlock, Penny Dreadful, and Stranger Things. (Meanwhile, I still haven’t finished season one of Daredevil…whoops.)

ChicagoCon Part 2: Pokemon GO, Harry Potter, Baseball, & More

ChicagoCon Part 2 Chi Wizard Tournament

These days almost every trip I take has a convention nickname, because so much of the time I’m visiting or vacationing with groups of my convention friends. We’ve had Not-A-Con in the fall for three years straight, with another one approaching this October. When a bunch of us went to West Virginia in February 2015, it was SkiCon (or rather, SkiKAHHHNNNN). Sometimes I even go to conventions themselves and they’re renamed, such as C2E2 in March of this year being ChicagoCon Part 1, or MegaCon in May being “KiwiCon”. (In quotes because KiwiCon existed before I got to experience its awesomeness.)

Therefore, when I visited Chicago yet again this past weekend, it was quickly dubbed “ChicagoCon Part 2”. And if I erase the awful trip home from my memory (bad weather, flight diversions, flight delays), it was yet another awesome success.

ChicagoCon Part 2 Taste of Chicago

I arrived on a Thursday afternoon, but unfortunately my Chicago-local friends were working and the other two out-of-towners in our group weren’t arriving until the following night. Not that I let that stop me…I checked out Taste of Chicago, had a very interesting but delicious appetizer and drink experience at The Gage, and then did a Google search for LGBTQ+ bars nearby and had an amazing evening making new acquaintances at Brian’s Speakeasy. After several very strong gin and tonics, I headed back to my hotel room for a quick online hangout with my BFF Bekah and a good hour or so of writing. I even broke 80,000 words on my next novel, which means I’m within 20,000 or so words of finishing!

Chicago Con Part 2 The Gage Red Rising

On my first full ChicagoCon (Part 2) day, I got to have lunch with a friend I hadn’t seen since 2011, and then lazed away the afternoon by devouring Red Rising by Pierce Brown. Seriously, I could have gone out. I kept trying to convince myself to do so. But I had to finish that book first. And when I did, and it was only 4 PM, and no one else was going to be around until after 8 PM? I visited the closest Barnes & Noble at DePaul University, but they didn’t have the second Red Rising installment in stock. Thankfully they were awesome and called the next closest store, who did have it in stock. This led to me walking four miles round trip to the Barnes & Noble on North State Street to pick up Golden Son. (Which also happened to be on the buy 2, get 1 free table – thanks to the associate who checked me out, I got two more books off my wishlist and Golden Son ended up being free!)

Later that night I had an amazing dinner with Brian at Russian Tea Time by the Art Institute. I have to be honest, the best part was that we were practically alone in the restaurant. I know this place is popular and that doesn’t usually happen, though, but still…the menu was lengthy and the food was great so overall I just really loved the experience.

Also I started playing Pokemon GO while I was there. And downtown Chicago is amazing for that game. Thankfully almost everyone that I hung out with while I was visiting plays it, too, which meant bonding over yet another thing we all love 🙂

ChicagoCon Part 2 Pokemon GO

Saturday was The Big Day – The Chi Wizard Tournament! Team “10 Pints for GRYFFINDOR!” assembled and did quite well getting stickers from other teams in our VALOROUS attempt to win the Chi Wizard cup (see what I did there, guys? P.S. I’m Team Valor on Pokemon GO haha). And even though we didn’t win the “Tournament”, it was still a lot of fun. While I wasn’t very fond of two out of the four bars on the pub crawl (one was just too small and the other had some really rude employees), I got to chat with some great new people AND hang out with my friends…all while wearing Harry Potter gear and enjoying this “Fantastic Drinks and Where to Find Them” event!

ChicagoCon Part 2 Chi Wizard Tournament

ChicagoCon Part 2 Chi Wizard Tournament

ChicagoCon Part 2 Chi Wizard Tournament

ChicagoCon Part 2 Chi Wizard Tournament

And even when the pub crawl was over, a group of us returned to a friend’s apartment to hang out, play a card game, and randomly re-watch the last two episodes of Game of Thrones season 6 while chowing down on delivered Lou Malnati’s pizza. So that was pretty much perfect.

(Okay, I’ll be honest, we never finished the card game 🙁 )

Sunday was a bit up in the air even after we all woke up that morning (I mean hey, we did participate in a crazy Wrigleyville pub crawl the day before), but in the end five of us gathered together for a trip to U.S. Cellular Stadium to see the White Sox play the Atlanta Braves. Unfortunately the White Sox lost, and yes it was hot as hell in those bleachers, but I’m excited that I added another baseball stadium to my list! (Which now includes many trips to Fenway along with visits to SafeCo Field, Wrigley Field, AT&T Park, and of course U.S. Cellular Field.)

ChicagoCon Part 2 Chicago White Sox

Chicago Part 2 Chicago White SoxChicagoCon Part 2 Chicago White Sox

After the game it was a quick trip to Kuma’s Too so that Ashley and Brian could finally experience metal music, whiskey on tap, and crazy burgers…though Kuma’s Too was a bit more trendy than Kuma’s Corner, where I ate on a trip to Chicago in the fall of 2014. And from there I headed back to my friends’ house with them, had a good evening hanging out with my friend Dave (a.k.a. “Unky Dave”) when he came home and was shocked to see me chilling on their couch, and even got to O’Hare early the next day to walk around and visit Pokestops and catch Pokemon.

I’ll leave out what happened after I boarded my plane in Chicago, because yeah, other than some travel snafus there, this was definitely a successful Part 2, and may need to become at least an annual thing 😉

These *Weeks* on The Geekiary

The Geekiary

Yes, once again, I’ve missed gathering up my weekly Geekiary posts for a while. Even now, I’m technically posting this on the wrong day of the week – Monday instead of Sunday – though it’s only 1 AM, and it’s a holiday weekend, so I think that’s a good excuse.

That said, I’ve actually been way better about keeping up with this blog, so check out my other recent entries along with my Geekiary articles, if you have the chance 🙂

this week on the geekiary disney's moanaJune 14th, 2016
Disney’s Moana Official Teaser Trailer Finally Arrives
Fourteen years ago this week, Disney released Lilo & Stitch, their first animated feature film set in Hawaii…and now we get to look forward to another Disney movie set in the Pacific: Moana! Disney released the Moana official teaser trailer just a couple of days ago, and not surprisingly, it made me even more excited for this movie.

June 17th, 2016
Chi Wizard Tournament 2016 Registration Extended to June 18th!
I love visiting Chicago; it’s a beautiful place, I have friends there, and I always have fun. It’s also a city that hosts many amazing geeky activities (for instance, C2E2 earlier this year), which of course is another draw. It’s great that I’m able to combine my love for Chicago with those geeky activities, so it shouldn’t be very surprising that my next visit is basically planned around the Chi Wizard Tournament 2016!
Knights of the Borrowed Dark: No Harry Potter But Still a Good Read
Knights of the Borrowed Dark by Dave Rudden is the last of the Advanced Reader Copy books I picked up at C2E2 this year, and while it may not be the best middle grade/YA novel I’ve ever read, the story was pretty interesting. Perhaps if I were younger I would have connected with it more.

this week on the geekiary star wars battlefrontJune 22nd, 2016
This Week in Star Wars Gaming: Battlefront Expansion & LEGO Star Wars
Between Star Wars: Battlefront and the upcoming LEGO Star Wars: The Force Awakens, it’s as much a golden age for Star Wars gaming as it is for Star Wars movies – and this week, both of the aforementioned games are in the news!

June 25th, 2016
Star Wars and Baseball: You Just Can’t Go Wrong
Tonight I attended Star Wars night at Greenville, South Carolina’s local minor league baseball stadium, Fluor Field. This is an annual event that I stumbled upon many years ago but constantly seem to miss…so when I got the email about this year’s Greenville Drive Star Wars night, I knew I had to attend – because you really can’t go wrong when you combine Star Wars and baseball. (At least in my opinion.)

this week on the geekiary independence day resurgenceJune 26th, 2016
Independence Day Resurgence: Just the Cheesy Nostalgia I Wanted
Here’s the thing: I went to see Independence Day Resurgence assuming that it would be heavy on the nostalgia and just as cheesy as the first movie. I even re-watched Independence Day recently because after seeing the previews I hoped that this sequel would be as close to the first movie as possible.

June 28th, 2016
Game of Thrones Finale Episode Update
Before Sunday night’s season 6 finale, many fans were still in the dark about what the Game of Thrones final episode count would be. And while we still don’t have an exact answer, producers Benioff & Weiss have been very clear about one thing: it’s not that many.this week on the geekiary game of thrones sandor clegane

June 29th, 2016
Game of Thrones Season 6 vs. A Song of Ice and Fire: Round Three
I have to admit it: I’m both astounded, excited, and depressed about what happened in the second half of Game of Thrones Season 6.

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

This Disney Princess Kylo Ren cosplay was an idea that was put into my head at MegaCon back in May, and since then I’ve worked tirelessly to put these pieces together. I wanted to do a trial run anyway, as I plan on wearing this at Dragon Con, and wow am I glad I did…if only because wearing it out and about made me realize that there’s no way this is a full-day Dragon Con cosplay 😉

The pieces I brought together for this particular cosplay (other than the black wig, ha) are a black Quinceanara dress that I found online (needs a bit of fitting still…somehow), a Kylo Ren lightsaber (obviously), and a headpiece inspired by the pattern on Kylo Ren’s mask.

I have a couple other touches that I plan on making, but it was a bit too hot in Greenville to bother with them this evening. I’m still pretty darn happy with this trial run, though, and can’t wait to add the hood/cape, a special necklace, and probably some fake eyelashes for when I wear it at Dragon Con.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from my little photoshoot in downtown Greenville today, courtesy of my friend Bekah, who tried her best to work with people and weird lighting and took some great photos 🙂

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Disney Princess Kylo Ren

Saga Event Planning: A New Venture

Saga Event Planning

With all of the recent changes surrounding Ice & Fire Con and the many discussions I had with my new fellow organizer K-K about expanding that convention’s model to other fandoms, I think it was only a matter of time before I finally buckled down and started my own business: Saga Event Planning, LLC.

After four years of planning a successful small single-fandom convention, along with dozens of themed parties and events and even a charity bar crawl throughout the years, this was the most natural move for me to make right now. I’ve had a great job for a long time, but now I need to focus on the things I love – convention and event planning, and my writing.

 

Saga Event Planning Ice and Fire Con 2017

So that’s what my June has been spent doing – figuring out ways to focus on those things. Saga Event Planning has already brought Ice & Fire Con under its umbrella, and we are also deep in the early planning stages of Beach City Con, a Steven Universe-themed convention scheduled for October 13-15, 2017.

 

Saga Event Planning Beach City Con 2017

The honest truth? Of course I’m scared. I know that I can plan successful events, I trust that I’m a good writer, but will those things sustain me? I think so, but I’ve been wrong before. (Many, many times.) That said…I’m 33 years old. I’m not getting any younger. ::Insert other cliches here:: If I don’t do it now, when will I? If I don’t take the leap now, when will I? Thanks to that great job and the fact that I’m the penny-pinching type, I have a few months to figure things out before I’d need to bow to the American corporate god(s) again. And if that happens, you know, I’m more than okay with it. Because at least I can say I tried.

But I’m going to do more than try. I think I can. I think I will. After all, as Yoda says, “Do or do not. There is no try.”

Frozen Ever After: The New Waitstrom

Frozen Ever After

Image (c) Disney https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/attractions/epcot/frozen-ever-after/

The new Frozen ride opened in the Norway pavilion at EPCOT recently, and today I was seeing Facebook posts featuring pictures of wait times up to 300 minutes.

Three. Hundred. Minutes. That’s FIVE HOURS. These people are in a park that is essentially open from 9 AM to 9 PM (if you ignore the Magic Hours days), and they are waiting nearly half that time to go on this ride.

My friends and I used to joke around, calling Maelstrom – the original Norway pavilion ride – “Waitstrom”.  But this was back when thirty minutes was the average wait, and an hour or more was one of those “This isn’t worth it, let’s go to China” decision makers.

But waiting thirty minutes or less for Maelstrom? Hey, it wasn’t an amazing ride, but it was fun. It wasn’t the best representation of the Norwegian people and their culture, but it was so EPCOT. They could have updated Maelstrom as it was, could have made it more palatable, but instead they replaced it with “Frozen Ever After”, which would be a great attraction for Magic Kingdom, but in EPCOT – particularly in the World Showcase – just reeks of bad taste.

Half-assed as it was, Maelstrom was still a story of Norway and the Norwegian people. Now that pavilion has succumbed to Disney’s Frozen cash cow, and Frozen is a fairy tale set in a non-existent place. On top of that, the fairy tale upon which Frozen is based – The Snow Queen – is a Danish fairy tale…and while Denmark is part of Scandinavia, it is not Norway, and on top of that, isn’t even much like Norway.

Will Disney be changing the pavilion to truly represent Scandinavia in general? I guess we’ll have to wait and see, but I for one would be surprised if they did. It certainly wouldn’t make sense for the World Showcase’s general theme – even the U.K. pavilion is decidedly British.

I suppose the problem is that as a former cast member, I understand changes but don’t care for ones that lessen the value of the things I love best about Walt Disney World (for instance, don’t even get me started about the dining plan and how it has lessened the food quality all over property). I get the desire for a Frozen-themed ride – I even get the need for one – but I don’t care for the execution.

And on top of that, I personally wouldn’t wait 300 minutes to ride Maelstrom with Frozen characters…and that’s exactly what this is.

I have to talk about the Pulse Orlando Atrocity

stand with orlando

Photo Courtesy of http://www.scoopnest.com/user/dreynders/742026024574156800

No, I’ve never been to Pulse in Orlando. I moved away from the Orlando area nearly a decade ago, and when I visit, I rarely have time to visit downtown at all.

But I’ve heard good things about Pulse, and if I was back in Orlando and had a chance to go, I would. Not only because it sounded fun, but because, being part of the LGBTQ+ community myself, I would have been a person who would have likely called Pulse a safe haven of sorts.pulse orlando

There, I’ve said it. Not that I’ve ever really hidden the fact that I am not straight…it’s just not something I often state in a public forum. Not for any bad reason, not because I’m trying to hide it, but rather because it’s a part of me, it’s who I am, and I don’t think I should have to constantly explain that. I believe that my general opinions (which I’m not shy about sharing) and even at times my writing show who I am well enough.

But right now, this is different. I woke up yesterday morning and the first thing I saw was a post from a friend in Orlando, someone who frequented Pulse, telling everyone he was okay. I saw that many of my friends had already used the safety check-in feature on Facebook, and seriously, I have never been happier that that feature exists, even if I don’t like that it has to exist in the first place.

Unfortunately, as yesterday wore on, it was impossible to ignore the articles, the cries for help from those who wanted to find missing friends or family members. Especially when one of those missing people is a friend of a friend. Not someone I’ve ever met, but a beautiful young woman who went to Pulse Saturday night and was confirmed dead early this morning. My heart goes out to those who know her, as it does to everyone who is missing or mourning a loved one after this truly horrific event.

pulse orlandoLet me get this straight: I don’t care what the killer’s motives were. I don’t care whose name he is working under or apparently working under or whatever the newest news about that is. I care that this was a terrorist attack no matter WHO he was, and one that specifically targeted Orlando’s LGBTQ+ community. As an acquaintance of mine said, “These people are my people, and we are dying.” And then another person got pulled over on his way to the LA Pride parade with a car full of weapons. So that person got caught, but that doesn’t make up for the fact that he existed, and it doesn’t make up for the fact that the terrorist in Orlando made it through our “gun control” system despite having been under FBI surveillance not once but twice, and it doesn’t make up for the fact that any citizen of this country is allowed to purchase a FUCKING ASSAULT RIFLE.

And it doesn’t make up for the fact that over a hundred people were killed or injured when that man burst into Pulse nightclub and committed an act so full of hate that it literally makes me sick to my stomach.

I wish I was in Orlando. I wish I could do more RIGHT NOW. I wish I didn’t have to make these wishes, because tragedies like this should not still be happening. Wake the fuck up, America. A large portion of your population was just directly attacked for who they are, whether they are LGBTQ+ or those who support their LGBTQ+ friends or family.

In the end, I don’t feel like anything I write about this will never be enough.

I’m a writer, and yet I somehow can’t find the right words to express how I feel about this tragedy.

My thoughts and prayers are with anyone who was directly or indirectly harmed by these events.

pulse orlando

These *Weeks* on The Geekiary

The Geekiary

For once I’ve missed posting my Geekiary articles not because I’ve been busy with other things, but because I’ve had so much more to write about, like my amazing trip to Key West, the fact that my novel is now available as a paperback, and how hashtagblessed I am to be a part of Ice & Fire Con.

But I have been writing other things, too, so here is a list of the past few weeks’ worth of my Geekiary articles!

May 24th, 2016
C2E2 Josiah Bancroft Arm of the SphimxA Josiah Bancroft Interview: The Adventures of the Books of Babel Continue!
Nearly two years ago I read what is to this day the best self-published novel I’ve ever discovered – that being Senlin Ascends by Josiah Bancroft. As it turned out, he also attended C2E2 this year, and I finally got my hands on a copy of Arm of the Sphinx, Book 2 of his Senlin series “The Books of Babel”. Needless to say, once I started reading, I couldn’t put it down…although at this point I’m no longer surprised by that.

May 26th, 2016
Steven Universe 3×4 Review: Barn Mates
Considering how much I loved the first three episodes of this “In Too Deep” series, I was surprised to find that I wasn’t all that fond of “Barn Mates”…that is, until I rewatched it.

May 31st, 2016
San Diego Comic-Con 2016 Announcement: A Podcast of Ice & Fire Panel
I’m very excited for this San Diego Comic-Con 2016 announcement, because not only will A Podcast of Ice & Fire be hosting a Song of Ice and Fire panel for the second year in a row at SDCC, but it means that I will be returning to Comic-Con as well!

June 2nd, 2016
Walking Dead NewsWalking Dead News: Season 6 Finale Backlash, Ezekiel’s Tiger, & More
We’re almost two months removed from The Walking Dead Season 6 finale, and the show won’t air again in October…but there’s still a lot of Walking Dead news crowding the Internet.

June 3rd, 2016
Julia Vanishes Features Great Writing Marred by Average Storytelling
I picked up an Advanced Reader’s Copy of Julia Vanishes by Catherine Egan at C2E2 earlier this year because, while I don’t usually read YA, this novel sounded intriguing. I just wish that in the end the blurb on the back hadn’t turned out to be quite so misleading.

June 4th, 2016
game of thrones season 6 sansa stark jon snowGame of Thrones Seasno 6 vs. A Song of Ice & Fire: Round Two
Here it is, folks – we are halfway through Game of Thrones Season 6.

June 6th, 2016
Loot Pets May 2016: The POWER Collection
I have to admit, May 2016’s Loot Pets box was the first one that I wasn’t really happy with. I liked the items that came in my Loot Crate Level Up POWER Collection package, but I don’t think Loot Pets was on par with May’s theme.

June 7th, 2016
The Fangirls Coloring Book: An Exciting Release from Her Universe Press!
A lot of us here at The Geekiary love Her Universe – personally I think at least 10% of my wardrobe is from Ashley Eckstein’s clothing line. And recently, they put together Her Universe Press to publish books, which was another thing to love about HU…a company that is now bringing us “The Fangirls Coloring Book”!

2000px-Star_Wars_Logo.svgJune 9th, 2016
Star Wars Episode VIII “in the home stretch”
Can it be true? Is filming for Star Wars Episode VIII close to being wrapped up?
Click Here to Start: An Engrossing Middle-Grade Novel
Click Here to Start by Denis Markell is another book that I picked up at C2E2 back in March, and now that I finally got around to reading it, I am so, so glad that I did!

June 11th, 2016
Roses and Rot: Intrigue and Rambling
It’s funny that when checking out other reviews for Roses and Rot by Kat Howard (before cracking it open myself), one person said “this book is actually a romance novel” – because that isn’t the impression I got at all. Yes, there are romantic aspects to it, but above all Roses and Rot is a Tale of Two Sisters, if you will.